Pics from our New House!!!

Here are some pics of my fav spots in our new house. It is not all decorated yet but here's some of an ideaThis is a bench Justin built, it sat in the garage at our old house. I finally got to finishing it. I love it!





Some new Decor...


and a new table
the living room/kitchen
kids' bathroom

My New Fav

She is not so little anymore. The other day I told her that her about a friend that is having a baby...
I said "Lanie's Mom is going to find out if shes having a girl baby or a boy baby today!"
Macie said, "No, it's MY baby, see." as she pulled up her shirt.
I said no you cant have a baby until your old and married.
"I am married." She said.
"To who?" I asked
"To Kase"
"Oh Really?"
"Yep Im OLD"
"Well what is your baby's name" I ask.
"carrot." She plainly responds.

Well the newest member of the Larsen family...Carrot is always talked about by Macie. She has been watching over this little "baby" in her tummy for days. How can she be my baby? My Little girl is growing up! ( and having kids LOL!)

This is a Vent

I am not very happy right now and maybe I should give my self time to cool off but part of my blog is therapy so I am going to vent. I am an open book, always have been, you want to know if Justin and I have had rough times in our marriage I tell...you want to know about the biapolar mis-diagose , i talk about it, You want to know about the day I felt like my kids should be taken away, you get it and get it Truethfully It does nobody any good to sit in ther make believe PERFECT world while other sit and struggle. Yes I have been through alot of crap, yes I am not perfect I lack tack, i can't spell, I could be a better mom and wife. We all have crap that we deal with! Pretending to be perfect will not help anyone, it makes us all feel depressed. I fell it is a bit dishonest to pretend that you are something that you are not. But that is your choice. What makes me so upset is that I was told tonight by someone that I respect and cherish that "he/she" was disappointed to hear that my BLOG had too many things that were too personal. Have I ever typed about anything crude or inappropriate? I honestly don't believe so. So why is it a big deal? and why is it bothering me so much? I am just steamed about it. This has been a great way for me to keep in touch with people that I don't regularly talk to daily, to give people a glance at my life. If you dont like it, you dont like me ! That is what hurts me soo badly. Ok enough with the vent I need to finish up packing and getting my SIL baby present ready before we leave to Rexburg tomarrow. I just HAD to get this off my chest, that way Justin will not hear about all the way up to Idaho!! LOL you know how much he enjoys that!

We got in a fight with the Razor...

...and the Razor WON! The Story...Kase and his hair, sigh! He is just weird about it. At the first of the summer he had a mohalk. It was sooo cool and everywhere we went people told him how cool he looked! I thought he would love it too BUT he didnt he hated it, everytime we went to fix it he would whine " NOOOOO dont put it in a mohalk." We did this for 3 months untill finally I let him win and I said "ok then we are just going to shave it off!" I wasnt mean, i wasnt angry, but that seemed worst. "no dont cut my hair MOM" he cried. Ok fine, I say " Kase if we leave like this we have to put it in a mohalk and you cant whine..." and the promise was made that he would cry about it. Well for the next 3 days all I hear is..."NOOOOO dont put it in a mohalk, I dont like mohalks, etc." So I shaved it off, HERES THE KICKER...just as I am finishing up, I take a last run threw with the clippers to catch all the lose ends and the GUARD FALLS OFF! yep and i buzz down the skin !!!!! So I swore, beacue that is waht any reasonable mother would do in front of their child and i put the clippers down. We left it like that for a couple days untill i finally brought myself to shave it all off! So now he is my little cancer patent, with his sweet little bald head and we are just waiting for it to grow back!

Wonder where I went? I had a project to do!

This last week instead of unpacking I bought an Amore' for our TV and an Amore' for my computer. BUT I bought them unfinished so I spent this painting, staining , sanding and polyurithaning. This is the end product!! I am so pleased!

Last pics from our house

There is our house, old ugly mexican titled roof, ugly brown trim and garage door.

All of us saying good bye to the house, last pictures in front of it.



Boxes and Boxes

The Move is Over!

With much drama it is finally done! We ended up needing to be out 3 days earlier then planned so over the weekend we found a place to live and moved all of our stuff. By Monday it was all out and by Tuesday it was cleaned. I am so thankful to my RS presidency they were the ONLY ones that showed up to help me clean. Not even my VTers came, which didnt surprize me because I have not had them visit me the whole time I have been in the ward! Anyway it was all cleaned and on Weds. I turned over the keys. It was a very sad thing for me, saying good bye to the house we brought Macie home to, our first house we bought. There are so many memories there. BUT as I was soaking in the last looks of our house and wiping away the tears Justin reminded me that there were alot of bad memories there too. Lots of fights and talks of divorce. Many sleepless nights wondering why things were so wrong. Lots of hardship in our marriage that we both do not wish to re-live. So as we drove away from our house for the last time we both had a sense of re-newal and hope. Hope for better times, less fights and more love in our lives.

To tip or not to tip

This has been bugging me and I really dont have any idea what is correct. When you go and get your hair cut or dyed ir whatever are you suppose to tip the person doing it? I know you do if it is a beauty college but I dont know if about regular places! Can anyone help?

A Stress in my life is over

Woohoo! FHE packets are done with, the last of them are sent out and put away. I have to say I am sooo glad to be done. I am just so disapointed in some of the girls in my group. I dont really want to get into the details of it all but it is good to be done and to have all of these packets that my kids love to use! Everynight the want to do FHE, it has been so much fun! I just want to say thanks to Heather, Summer and Jennie for their amazing packets every month. U guys were the reason that i did this for as long as we did. Thank U Thank U!!!

Soccer Games

Ohh we have so much going on right now with the move, I have been going threw blog withdrawls!!! Right now I am just going to post some picts of soccer. Kase is having more fun this year, going out and playing more. He just is not that aggressive, yes I know that should be a good thing but I wonder if he wont like sports. maybe he'll be a choir & band boy! Justin dosent like that idea but oh well hun? I guess time will tell.

5 Things Challenge

I saw this on another Blog and I wanted to try do it.

So, the Five things you might not know about me are

1. I hate hate hate ranch dressing, I think that it is soooo nasty! I love Lima Beans, why I dont know. I just think that they are sooo good. This is even after I puked up a entire bag of them when I was prego with Kase. Still eat them like candy.

2. I am a horrible, speller. I cant spell that is all there is to it. I have always struggled with it. I would hide my spelling test from my teachers, i wonder how i ever passed elementry school let alone college! Thank goodness for spell check!

3. I have been mis-diagnosed as having bipolar disorder. Here is a huge story to all of this but, after alot of situational depression I was diagnosed. Later we started to wonder if it was a hormone imbalance. I still dont know what exactly is wrong with me.

4. I have an overwhelming fear of aliens, to the point that I have to sleep with the lights on, I hate to be alone outside at night in fear of an abduction. I cant watch movies about Aliens of any sort. I do not like watching ET.

5. I have always wanted to be a singer. There are times that I wished people would asked me to sing like in chrch or at a funeral. Heres the kicker. I am not that great of a singer. I can't even read music. I dont know what the notes are, I dont even know how to lead music. I just love to sing. Maybe in Heaven I will be aked to sing in some special choir, but for no I just belt my heart out when I am alone or in the car!!

I AM A PHOTOGRAPHER

Yes I have come the conclusion that I am a photographer. So why do I down play it when people ask? Is it fear of rejection, fear of ridicule? I am talented, no I might not know every little thing about photography, but I can take pictures and somewhere in my brain I can see what looks good. So how do I change this fear? How do i grow past my insecurities? I am announcing that I am a photographer. That is it, that is who I am. I am a photographer.

I am offically baby hungry!

I did a photoshoot last weekend and it hit me, I am soooo baby hungry. I love babies, I love the purity their presence brings, I can't find that feeling anywhere else. I still dont think that we are ready for that next step. I know our realtionship needs some strengthening still. But I cant help but wonder if Kase is more in tune to the spirit. He knows about "McKai" his brother in heaven he talks about him all the time. So I am missing something? It is hard to know. So for now I have the bug! Being able to photograph this sweet new baby, being able to watch and capture some tender moments was the kicker for me!!!

{graditude}

I can't remember ever being so happy. I have so much to be thankfull for...I have two wonderfull kids (who besides the fact that they can drive me absolutely crazy) are sweet, kind, curious and rambunctious.

Macies has picked up tis little thing where she'll say in her little pip-squeak voice, "mom, guess what?" I say "what" She says " I lus you!" We play this over and over through out the day and I just have to giggle.

Kase has grown up so much and is become more and more like a little man and to top it all off ...

Justin and I are really getting along. I realized this when we were getting in the car after our walmart trip. We had boxes (for packing our house) everwhere we could fit them including in my seat which meant I would have to sit in the back seat in between the kids. It is so squishy and uncomfortable and I wasnt looking forward to the ride home all crammed there. I was whinning about it mostly kidding . I turned around and that sweet, huge man was crawling into the back seat.

I know that was such a simple gesture and wouldn't meant that much to most people but it did to me. For all the years that we have honestly hated one other and secretly prayed for a way out of such a misrable marriage (yes it has been that bad!) It is feeling like we are pulling out of it, that we are both trying to strengthen our realtionship and that feels SOOOOO good. It feels better then I can even describe! So today I am just full of graditude!

wooohoo!

My Computer seems to be up and running agian! Although it has got some little glitches it is much better! My life can go on!

So what is new in our life...well, we have sold our home. Yep didn't know we were selling hun? After so much confusion we finally decieded that we were going to list it. Just that statement alone sent people running to our house. We had 4 people come look in 2 days and by Thursday we had accepted an offer. Yep didn't even have to list it. We have less then a month to be out, So justin and I have been packing and cleaning and fixing up the house. It is such a shock that this has gone through sooo fast. But the market is crazy down here. SO life mght be very hectic for awhile as we figure out where are next home will be. We will stay in te area we just dont know where yet. I am soo excited to start somewhere else, I am praying for a younger ward so that we can make friends we with people who get us. Or get me for that matter, I am such a basket case! LOL!

I am trying to hold myself together!

Today was Kase's first day of Pre-School! He was sooo excited and I thought I was too. I kept thinking of how nice to have some peace and quite, to have time with Macie or to be able to shop with just one kid. Well I didn't get so excited when I drop him off because as we were driving up I told him, "Miss Mary just wants us to pull up to the driveway and then you get out by yourself. Is that ok? I can come in with you today if you need." and Kase says to me..." nope Mom you stay here, Mom stay here. I am fine Mom." I started to protest and he said "no Mom dont get out, stay in the car!" Well that really got me going, not only is my little guy going to pre-school but HE DOESNT NEED ME!! After I dropped him off I cried and cried and cried. Finally about ten mins later I call up Justin and say all right we just dropped Kase off at School I tried so hard to calm my voice so he would hear cry, my heck I am such a boob! Justin says so how long did you cry babe? and I burst into to tears agian "I am still crying!!!" Oh man, I can't even imagine what next year will be like, I am soo emotionally drain from just this!

SHeDAISY Concert

What a blast! I have to say I love concerts, I love to sing my little heart out, oh I just love them! Justin on the other hand doesn't he would rather sit back and just listen. I want to get up, to dance, to sing! So the whole concert consisted of me singing or screaming every lyric & Justin just sat most the time watching me make a fool out of my self! LOL! Ohhh we had fun anyway!

We are Back!!

OK I am tring to post this agian, I have typed a similar entry up twice but my computer has shut off before I can post them! errr, stupid computer!

Well anyway, our camping trip went great, we had a blast! It honestly was the best vacation we have had. What made it so fun...Justin and I didn't fight! This is a huge thing for us! We also just relaxed, sat in front of the fire and let the kids run and play as much as they wanted! It really was a nice time, and part of me is still sad i didn't get to go to AZ to see Michelle -miss ya girl! It was worth it, we really needed a break like this!

Today my thoughts are on my SWEETkids & the Hurricane Victims

How could they not be. I have had my TV on 24-7 watching all the news channels, I even missed Passions and Days because of it. I just wanted to hear the lastest updates. But today I couldnt watch, I saw videos of children being pulled out of the water by national gaurdsmen. I watch as they moved ICU infants to other hostpitals and I lost it today. I am feeling an over whelming feeling of gratitude. Glad it wasnt us and even more grateful it was my kids going threw that. It breaks my heart.

With that said I find it very intersting that I had they day i had and didn't flip out! We are leaving to go camping for the weekend up in oak grove. I have been busy shopping and packing trying to get our house in order to go. Everytime i turn my back my lovely, wonderfull, sweet children find somethime to get into. Macie got ahold of mommy's lipstick and had it as eyeshadow, hairspray and blush! Instead of yelling I laughed, and grabbed my camera for some shots. Next I sent her into the bathroom to wash it all of and she decieded that her hair was not fixed properly this morning so she put a massive amount of hair glue (yep not gell, glue) into her hair, it was sticking staight up and was soooo stiff! So we took a bath & I being exhausted from the days activites snuck into the computer room for a break. Well both of my fabulous children figured out how to throw wet balls of tolet paper and did so ALL over my shower and bathroom. So I am done for the day, kids are in bed and the toliet paper is still on the walls...maybe i will clean it up when I get back from camping or maybe gravity will just bring the blasted things down! Have a great Labor day weekend!

Macie & I got FIRST place

Yep, we had a mother-daughter look-a-like contest tonight and we won!! I kinda felt stupid because most the other mother-daughter couples wore matching t-shirts but no not us. We went all out, matching velvet dresses...messy bun hairstyle...pearl necklesses... pearl braclets. Yep all out and we even had to walk down the catwalk. It was so much fun! I cant believe that I have a girly girl! Well she was all girly untill she saw the sandbox, I glanced over just in time to see her rolling around in the dirt, dress and all! Well I got just a glimps of the little girl in her! What a fun day!