I was going to at least try to post that we were back but...

Our Internet was shut off while we were gone :)! We only owed them 100 bucks but I think when they called our phones and heard we were in Hawaii they had not mercy and turned it off! So we are back! So much to talk about and to post!

So Hawaii was great, it was more then great it was perfect. It was what I expected and more! We had alot of fun together, did lots of stuff, had quiet moments to ourselves. Wow quiet time to ourselves...it was so great! But it made it so hard to come back. The kids just drain everything out of me, I never realized how much they talk. They talk alot! In fact they don't shut up. I am already missing the quietness. The kids did great with us being away. I think the prefered G&G Larsen as caregivers because Kase asked us when we could leave again. Nice, we were not even missed...gotta love that! Of course the majority of the trip I worried about them, called them and cried becuase I missed them, Just to come home to lots of talking and wishing I could be back! Isn't that how it always works? I didn't help that both of us have to jump immediately back into real life, working, photo shoots, b-day parties, church callings...

So I am just trying to recover from the trip and get back to normal! I am caught up on laundry...at least for today! I have 2 memory cards full of pictures that I am trying to edit! Ahhh! It is sooo over whelming! But I will be posting pictures soon of all we did!

We are OFF!

I can't believe I am leaving today! I will be in Hawaii in less then 24 hrs! How cool is that! We are all packed, waxed (yes I finally did it) and ready to go! I am just hoping that we will make it to the airport without fighting! Maybe we can go the entire trip without any fights

Did I mention we are going to make a baby there? Well hopefully it works out the way we planned! Wish me luck!~kell

GA Links

Oh yes I have some cool links for Grey's. I am sooo addicted to this show and I know I will be going threw withdrawls all summer!

Here is the grey's blog

http://www.greyswriters.com/

and you have to watch this! It is soo funny...wait for the end!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=6nlyWznzXHc&search=grey%27s%20anatomy

OH! What a Glorious Day!

I am typing to celebrate a huge occasion in the Larsen household...are you ready?

For the first time in our entire married life I was able to park my car into the garage! WOOHOOO!

This has never happened before and it is soo exciting! How awesome is that?

The Littlefields

This is Meegs and her sweet little family! I am sooo jealous of her, and how could I not be? She is tiny skinny, she's got great boobs, a charismatic personality and she is absoulutly beautiful! Plus she is so close to tons of perfect locations to take family shots! If only there where such great places here...I am sick of the red rock ...bla!

I have tried for two days to upload pictures and they are not working so you'll have to go see this shoot on my website! Stupid, stupid blogger!

The Hawaii Drama is hopefully over!

So I know I said before that we bought tickets and we were going to Hawaii...well I thought Justin had bought them and it turned out he didn't. Then they jumped up in price and we played the waiting game to see if they would drop agian. This has gone on for MONTHS! Finally Justin informed me that we were not going to be able to go! Great! I have lost weight, bought 5 swimsuits, and even Scrapbook stuff for the tonz of pgs I was going to scrap when I got back. Besides all of that I was sooo looking forward to going and If it was left to me I would have had it booked 5 months ago, but becuase it was his turn to plan I left in his hands I just would nudge him every once in awhile about it! Well no more nudging! I finally got pissed and I said "That is IT!" I am NEVER planning a trip ever agian, I will go to Hawaii or Cabo or wherever with my roomies or my friends but I will never plan anything for us ever agian! Well lets just say....HAWAII IS ON! We are leaving on the 23rd, the flight was booked Sunday night!!! Soo A week from tomarrow....we will be in Maui! Woohoo!

Nooooooooo!

That is what you would have heard if you were a our house tonight! Did you watch Greys' tonight? Oh my gosh! Why? Seriously! I will not be able to sleep!!! Ahhhhhh! Plus we are trying to book Hawaii tickets last minute....Serious anxiety! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow seperatly without growing apart!

Just thought that was fitting with all the friends I have visited in this last little while!

Revised

what do you think? This is for a gift cert. for a friend... I think the "good for"is buggin me.

Happy Mothers Day to MEEEE!

Check out what I bought myself!!!! The bag! It got here the first of the week! I love it! It is all ready loaded up with a ton of stuff and ready for my scrap night! Soooo cute!

Ok so if you want one there is a chick on ebay that is selling them...here is her ebay store.

http://stores.ebay.com/The-Scrapbook-Source

She is who I got mine from and it only took 3 days to get here! I am soo in love...oh did I mention that I got the matching tote at the scrap convention? I am soooo styling!

Kase's Batman Shoot!

I am trying to get shots for his b-day invataions here are my favorites! I am so excited to get them back!

My fav Maternity shoots this week

my roomies first baby she still was pretty tiny so we had to be creative in the shoots and she had push her belly out for me!! Doesn't she look beautiful prego? It was so fun to shoot her!

My Other Sister

Isn't she georgous? It is amazing how much she has changed in the last couple years! She is only 14 can you believe it? Ever since I had Kase she has spent at least a month at my house each summer. I am so excited to have her come this year! She has the best personality, she is hillarious!

I have so much to say to you, so much I want to tell you. I honestly don't want to make things harder for. I have done enough damage in your life, and I will always hate myself for it. I just need you to know somethings. I need to be able to free my mind of all of these thoughts. If not I am going to loose it, and you know that is not a pretty site. I want to thank you for having the courage to tell her. Just getting all of this out in the open has helped me so much, It is weird to feel at peace about it all. I guess I feel that this was all suppose to happen. Justin and I were over, we honestly were. There was nothing left in our relationship. He had quit trying four years ago, and I had finally given up. You did nothing to our family, I don't want you to ever feel like you destroyed anything of mine. The only pain I feel is about you.

I feel so lost without you. I know what I should be doing, but I can't bring myself to do it. How did I let you get into my heart. I keep it protected, Ive kept it lock up for so long. I don't want to hurt this much, I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you. You are the first person that has ever understood me, the first person that has looked into my soul and loved every single part of it. You are the only one that I have truly loved. How can I go on without you? How can I stay in my marriage? I have nothing left. I gave you everything I had left in my heart, I have nothing else to give. I am empty, broken, lost completely lost without you. You are my everything, you are who I need. You are who I want, I will never be able to forget you. My feelings for you will never go away, NEVER. How am I going to do this. I can't do this, I know I can't. I can't live without you. I need to know you are there, I need something from you but I know you probable don't have anything else to give. I know you need to focus on your life and forget about me. I want to be able to know that you are OK, if there is a way to do that I am open to anything. I don't want to drag you under again. I will never forgive myself for what I have done to you. What I"ve done to her. What I have done to your beautiful kids, the kids that I have loved so much. How could I? I had no right, no right at all. You are not mine to take.

Everyone keeps telling me that I am just addicted to the feelings I had with you, that you really don't love me, that it was all a game. I don't believe that for a second. I know what is real, I know what it feels like to be loved and I know I love you. I honestly feel that there is a reason for all of this, I know that you needed to repair and talk with your mom. I feel that I will heal things in my own life also. BUT above all I believe that we are meant for each other. I believe that God lead us to each other, I was meant to be with you, I was meant to fall in love with you. I cant help but believe that we are meant to be together. What we have is real, it is the most real thing I have ever felt. I will not let you go. But I am going to have to step back, I am going to give you the space you need to repair the damage.

I can't handle this, I know you are going threw hell. She is putting you threw hell. You don't deserve that. You deserve love, and forgiveness. You needed to be loved. How can she live with the fact that we will always love each other? Why can't she just let go, why does she have to hurt you more? That is not love, it's not. She has every right to be angry, but what good does the threats do? We needed each other, I will always need you. You will always be the only person that understands me. You are a wonderful person, you have so much going for you. You deserve so much more then you think you do. I will always love your "dark side" as much as I love your good side.

Thank you for showing me that I was worth love, that I was perfect for someone. Thank you for all that you have done for me and how I have felt about myself. Thank you for making me feel like I belonged somewhere. I wont regret you.

I respect you for your choice to try again in your marriage. It proves to me again what a good person you are. I want you to be happy, and I wish I could say that I want you to be happy even if that doesn't include me but you know who I feel about that. I know how happy we could be together, I know we would face problems so well together. I would never cheat on you. No, life would not be perfect, we would have struggles and problems but I know we would make it threw anything. I know I will love you the rest of my life, I will be here. I am waiting for you, I know I shouldn't but I am and I always will be. I can't give my heart to anyone else, you will forever have it. I have to except that that "us" that I like to think about could all just be a dream never be a reality.

You are not mine and from the sounds of it you will never been mine. It sounds like you will work it all out with her. I respect that, I really do. She came back to yell at me again today. She threatened me, she said that if I ever contacted you that she would drag my business threw the dirt. That she would call every single client and tell them what a whore I am. She said she that she would do everything in her power to destroy me, for the rest of my life. She said she would never forgive me, that she never wants to see my face again. She said that you loved her and that you are staying with her. I hope that most of her anger is taken out on me. I deserve it, look what I did to your family. I am so sorry, I should have been the one to stop things. I shouldn't have let you do this to your life. I hope that she can forgive you and I hope that you can forgive yourself. We made a bad choice that is it, you are not a horrible person, you are not sick and wrong. You needed to feel love just as much as I did.

Please try as hard as you can with her. Please don't worry about me, I have picked up the pieces so many times in my life I surely can do it again. I will be OK. I will find my way again, I always do.

You were just the perfect person at the wrongest possible time.

Ashlie

...So she has the weirdest banges! But once you get past that I think the shots are awesome! I love the feel of them! I wanted to capture real emotion from her so I didn't direct her at all, I just sat and watched and pushed my shutter button! I think I got some sadness and some youth in these shots and I am sooo happy!

Picture overload!

I have tons to post! When I got home I had 503 pictures to upload, edit and put on my site! Meegs taught me some sweet new tricks and I got 3 shoots done yesterday! I am working on the other two today! So there are going to be tonz and tonz of pictures to show off!

Back from the City

Yes I know SLC isn't really that big but it freaks me out! I get all nervous to drive in it!

What a trip! I haven't been away from the kidlets or the hubster EVAH! It was so nice! I spent time with everyone that was important to me! You know what hit me? The difference in the common threads my friends and I hold! They are all different!

With my girls from St. Geo it is scrapbooking and tha we all are alot alike. We have kids the same ages too that helps. But we all are like sisters! We all care about each other and seem to put each other into Labor!!! It is the hormones!

With my roomies of course it is college and the fact that we all have been there through the kids and the marriages and trials.

With Meegs right now it is photography. We have a huge passion for it, and I love having her teach me all the PS stuff I can't figure out! But there is more to our realtionship and I can't quit pin point it. We are just are friends! I know we always will be!

With Brookie it is HS but then it stems out, we dont call each other every month, hardly email or keep tabs at all...BUT when we get together it is like we have seen each other an hour ago. We pick up right where we left off, We talk about it all. HS, politics, the church and I love that friendship. Hers is one that I truely would be sad to lose.

With my Sisters it is different with both of them.

Ash is becoming more and more like my Mom and our relationship has changed with that. I thought it would be completely ruined but I seem to hang on the relationship because I never had that with my Mom and that keeps me trying.

Shayla and I are so much alike...In a sence we are both the 1st born, just with the different Dads! But she is so much more compfortable in her skin then I ever was. I hope she never loses that because it is the best part of her personality!

Anyway...I was an awsome break! I came home totally recharged and feeling able to cope with it all. That was untill the kids started whinning and I thought arrrrg ! I so am not in the mood for this!! LOL!

*I am typing under the influence (cold meds) so if nothing make sence I will have to edit later!!!*

Off to SLC

I am heading up north today, no kids no hubby. Just taking a break from life, here is my schedule...

*today} scrap expo in sandy...Ohhh i am soooo excited for this!

*sat} roomies wedding in Idaho

*sun} time with meegs...fam pics in the am then head back to hang with roomies again

*mon} more roomie time (maternity shoot) and time with brookie (BF from HS)

*tues} time with my sister. ( i haven't had time with her without kids for 5 yrs) and she hates kids so this is huge!!!) I will prob do a mini shoot with her too.

I will be home either tue night or weds.

I am having some guilt about leaving. Well, not about leaving itself, but about how excited I am to get away. All my other friends were having such a hard time leaving their kids and they are only going for 2 days. I am thrilled to get out of the house! I have been looking forward to it all week, I haven't slept good becuase I am sooo excited! It's not like I am not sad to leave the fam... I bawled when Justin drove away with the kids because I will miss them, I'll worry about them. But I do know that time to myself makes me a better Mom. I have never been gone for this long before, they will be with there Dad the whole time. Is it so wrong for me to be excited? I guess I feel a little selfish, Moms are suppose to give everything to everyone and never take time for anyone else...Isn't that how the world veiws it? I think I just need to give myself permission to be ok with it all! Permission granted! See ya when I get back!! ~Kell

{Ticee and Melissa...So sad you can't come...There is one in October also---you must come to that one!!!}

New Music & New Header

Ready for a change...I love the KT chick. Her music is so unique!!! Enjoy!

More Shoots!

I have a great group of friends that have been totally getting me more jobs...These are Melissa's referals....The rest are on my site...enjoy!