yuck. that all it was. yuck. no good news typing here. it was a fighting trip. it was not fun. I don't like my husband right now. I am onry at everyone. if you want to stop reading feel free, I am going to vent some.
I guess it started out bad, I had full intentions of going to the reception, that was until I found out it was at 2:30. There was no way that was going to work. Justin had to finish up jobs and we didn't leave till 5:00, no chance to visit friends, just driving till 11:00. I was not happy, but still ok with it all. I understand he had to finish stuff.
We see my Dad and Sister on Sunday, go to lunch, spend time with the kids and him. Go to the little pathetic park/zoo in Logan and Drive home. Not much to tell here. I always love seeing my Dad and Sister.
Then it was off to Mnt Timpanogas for the family reunion, Justin got up and went golfing with my step dad. I wanted to get going right after he came home. After all, why come up and not be around to spend the time with HIS family;y? He wanted to nap and it all started there. We bickered while I packed the entire truck up while he sat and watched TV. I asked several times for help but once he knows I am bothered he likes to play a little game of ...What else can I do, to piss her off? I tried really hard to not get wrapped up in it and thought how pathetic it is that I he stills taunts people like this, he is almost 30, will he ever grow up? I also want to go into Tai Pan for some decor stuff, So I tried to hold in my emotion so that I could still get what I wanted! (I know ,I know don't judge me) Tai Pan didn't go over so well with Justin. He bitched and moaned about going the whole time, and I walked off to shop with our him. Turned out to be a much better choice. I scored some awesome vintage airplanes for Kase's room. I love them! They are perfect. So we finally arrive at camp, get things ready and have an ok night.
The next day we got up at the butt crack of dawn to hike to the cave. We took the kids, Macie got a free ride on Dads back and Kase had to walk. He dramatically collapsed every once in a while because he was soooooo tired! The cave was fascinating, well worth the hike. Back at camp it started raining. Justin and his ego refused to put a tarp over the tent or bag up our blankets. I didn't have the energy to fight him and we got soaked. The remainder of the day we fought about weather or not we were sleeping in the tent. He wanted to still feel like he made the best decision. I was furious, it is one thing to want to protect your ego, but to want to make your own kids suffer because of it by sleep in under soaked blankets...Not cool. Now I am sure this could have easily been solved, but he walked away from me and that was it. I didn't speak to him the rest of the night. I packed the kids' things and prepare to sleep in the truck. We ended up in bunk beds at the lodge and he slept alone with the "not wet" blankets.
I guess it started out bad, I had full intentions of going to the reception, that was until I found out it was at 2:30. There was no way that was going to work. Justin had to finish up jobs and we didn't leave till 5:00, no chance to visit friends, just driving till 11:00. I was not happy, but still ok with it all. I understand he had to finish stuff.
We see my Dad and Sister on Sunday, go to lunch, spend time with the kids and him. Go to the little pathetic park/zoo in Logan and Drive home. Not much to tell here. I always love seeing my Dad and Sister.
Then it was off to Mnt Timpanogas for the family reunion, Justin got up and went golfing with my step dad. I wanted to get going right after he came home. After all, why come up and not be around to spend the time with HIS family;y? He wanted to nap and it all started there. We bickered while I packed the entire truck up while he sat and watched TV. I asked several times for help but once he knows I am bothered he likes to play a little game of ...What else can I do, to piss her off? I tried really hard to not get wrapped up in it and thought how pathetic it is that I he stills taunts people like this, he is almost 30, will he ever grow up? I also want to go into Tai Pan for some decor stuff, So I tried to hold in my emotion so that I could still get what I wanted! (I know ,I know don't judge me) Tai Pan didn't go over so well with Justin. He bitched and moaned about going the whole time, and I walked off to shop with our him. Turned out to be a much better choice. I scored some awesome vintage airplanes for Kase's room. I love them! They are perfect. So we finally arrive at camp, get things ready and have an ok night.The next day we got up at the butt crack of dawn to hike to the cave. We took the kids, Macie got a free ride on Dads back and Kase had to walk. He dramatically collapsed every once in a while because he was soooooo tired! The cave was fascinating, well worth the hike. Back at camp it started raining. Justin and his ego refused to put a tarp over the tent or bag up our blankets. I didn't have the energy to fight him and we got soaked. The remainder of the day we fought about weather or not we were sleeping in the tent. He wanted to still feel like he made the best decision. I was furious, it is one thing to want to protect your ego, but to want to make your own kids suffer because of it by sleep in under soaked blankets...Not cool. Now I am sure this could have easily been solved, but he walked away from me and that was it. I didn't speak to him the rest of the night. I packed the kids' things and prepare to sleep in the truck. We ended up in bunk beds at the lodge and he slept alone with the "not wet" blankets.
So I am not happy at him, I think that other unsolved issues come back up on the table when we fight like this and now it feels like a huge unsolvable mess. I feel a lot of resentment over the not getting pregnant issue. He brings up crap about it being my fault we aren't going to try to have kids, I am a "mess." I guess I am, I think you would too if you felt like your world was turned upside down. That all the progress you had made wasn't good enough. To have everything you thought your life was going to be, not be. I hate feeling like nothing has changed. I don't want it to be this way, I want to be able to prove to all the people who said this marriage wasn't going to last wrong. It hurts to know that there where very few people in support of us. But what bothers me the most is, why can't I make this right?
I am unable to bury my emotions, I guess you could say I wear my heart on my sleeve. I cry a lot, I cried watching that Cars movie that just came out, got made fun of because of it. I can't control it. It is a huge strength and weakness all wrapped into one. At times I hate it, I am embarrassed by it. Other times I embrace it. This trip made me hate it. I got all upset. Everyone knew it, everyone got involved. eeeerrrr. It was just yuck. yuck. yuck. yuck.
I am unable to bury my emotions, I guess you could say I wear my heart on my sleeve. I cry a lot, I cried watching that Cars movie that just came out, got made fun of because of it. I can't control it. It is a huge strength and weakness all wrapped into one. At times I hate it, I am embarrassed by it. Other times I embrace it. This trip made me hate it. I got all upset. Everyone knew it, everyone got involved. eeeerrrr. It was just yuck. yuck. yuck. yuck.
4 comments:
Hi Kellie! I actually ran into Donna at a gas station on her way to the reunion. Their trip sounded as good as yours! I am sorry that so much sucked. Don't you wish you can have one free swift kick to the region of choice when it comes to DH? Love ya, if you need to vent some more, CALL ME!!!
This is why I just stay home. We have a reunion on the 16th of July. I am going with the boys just for the day and Mike will be at work. Sometimes spouses and family don't mix. Sometimes families just don't mix.
I hope you are feeling better now. I'm sure last night was just what you needed. I can't believe how similar our husbands are. Any time you need to vent, give me a call. We can share stories. It will be fun.
All I can identify with is the crying and I wanted to give my opinion on that. I cry for the stupidest things; sad movies, children singing, sports (ya sports), that one black eyed pea song that's really up beat. EVERYTHING!!! but i decided just to be proud that i can express my emotions. Oh, it's very embarrassing sometimes, especially when I'm trying to be tough, but just decide to be proud of it, because it's a great thing.
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