Happy Halloween!

I LOVE Halloween! It is one of my favorite holidays. I dont know why exactly, but i get sooooo excited for it. I usually have ideas for costumes months in advance and the are bought at least a month before. I guess that I just like the dressing up, becoming someone you are not for a day.


Justin was Joe Dirt (white trash)
I was Gothic

Baby Brookelyn is here

WOW! 6 lbs 3 oz ( i think) She is sooooo dang tiny. Born to Clint and Teresa Larsen on the 24th of October at about 3:30! She is beautiful, such a Larsen! It just happened that we were up in rexburg at the same time as her birth so we stopped by on the way home. I got to take pictures of her and it was hillarious, the little stinker wouldn't sleep. She pooped on Clint twice and peed a couple as well, He was not too thrilled about that whole thing. So Teresa nursed her, wrapped her up and nothing. She was sooo alert. Finally after we were done she wrapped her up and that was it she was asleep.

I cant explain the feelings i had holding her. It was soo overwhelming for me. At first i couldn't stop crying. Luckily Teresa was on the phone threw all of my bawling, i honestly couldn't control the tears. The spirt that brand new babies have is so intense. I also had an feeling come to me that she was the closest person to the family we still have waiting for us in heaven. I have no doubt that she knows and assiciated with them. That just touched me. It was nice to be in the presence of such a heavenly being.

MOre photogs from the Littlefeilds

The Littlefields

I love these guys! I Honestly do. The hardest part of visiting Rexburg is remembering what it is like to have some really great friends. I feel like we have shared so much together. We lived in the same house, we were there for each other, we instantly had a bond. Meegs and My life are so very simalar that it makes it very easy to relate to each other. I missed them sooo much, it is hard to even discribe our relationship. Justin and I even talked about moving back to Rexburg, we missed you all so much! What good friends to have, accepting,
fun, and dependable. Love you guys!!! Thanks for such a fun time!

Staying with the Tilley's

How nice it is to have friends. Shyla and Eldon where nice enough to let us stay with them while we were up in Rexburg. It was soo much fun. The kids loved their kids! Macie got a taste of what sisters are like, she played dressed up with Leisey and Kyla. What a blast to see her be girly, she would just twirl and twirl. Kase and Leisey played soo good too, i dont think i ever broke up a fight between them. The best part of staying with them was staying up with Shyla talking. We just talked and talked. I felt so comfortable around her and am so sad we are far apart. Thanks agian guys for letting us stay with you!

Back from Rexburg

Wow! What a trip! I never thought I would miss Rexburg but I do. Maybe it is the memories that we have there. We met, dated, kissed in Rexburg. Our first apartment was there, we brought Kase home from the hospital in that quite little town. We grew up there. We grew closer together. I left with feelings of longing to be THAT happy agian. I am starting to feel those same feelings agian but they are definatly gradual. It takes time for us to heal, for us to trust agian I know, but part of me wonders if it will ever be like that agian. I guess time will tell.

Pics from our New House!!!

Here are some pics of my fav spots in our new house. It is not all decorated yet but here's some of an ideaThis is a bench Justin built, it sat in the garage at our old house. I finally got to finishing it. I love it!





Some new Decor...


and a new table
the living room/kitchen
kids' bathroom

My New Fav

She is not so little anymore. The other day I told her that her about a friend that is having a baby...
I said "Lanie's Mom is going to find out if shes having a girl baby or a boy baby today!"
Macie said, "No, it's MY baby, see." as she pulled up her shirt.
I said no you cant have a baby until your old and married.
"I am married." She said.
"To who?" I asked
"To Kase"
"Oh Really?"
"Yep Im OLD"
"Well what is your baby's name" I ask.
"carrot." She plainly responds.

Well the newest member of the Larsen family...Carrot is always talked about by Macie. She has been watching over this little "baby" in her tummy for days. How can she be my baby? My Little girl is growing up! ( and having kids LOL!)

This is a Vent

I am not very happy right now and maybe I should give my self time to cool off but part of my blog is therapy so I am going to vent. I am an open book, always have been, you want to know if Justin and I have had rough times in our marriage I tell...you want to know about the biapolar mis-diagose , i talk about it, You want to know about the day I felt like my kids should be taken away, you get it and get it Truethfully It does nobody any good to sit in ther make believe PERFECT world while other sit and struggle. Yes I have been through alot of crap, yes I am not perfect I lack tack, i can't spell, I could be a better mom and wife. We all have crap that we deal with! Pretending to be perfect will not help anyone, it makes us all feel depressed. I fell it is a bit dishonest to pretend that you are something that you are not. But that is your choice. What makes me so upset is that I was told tonight by someone that I respect and cherish that "he/she" was disappointed to hear that my BLOG had too many things that were too personal. Have I ever typed about anything crude or inappropriate? I honestly don't believe so. So why is it a big deal? and why is it bothering me so much? I am just steamed about it. This has been a great way for me to keep in touch with people that I don't regularly talk to daily, to give people a glance at my life. If you dont like it, you dont like me ! That is what hurts me soo badly. Ok enough with the vent I need to finish up packing and getting my SIL baby present ready before we leave to Rexburg tomarrow. I just HAD to get this off my chest, that way Justin will not hear about all the way up to Idaho!! LOL you know how much he enjoys that!

We got in a fight with the Razor...

...and the Razor WON! The Story...Kase and his hair, sigh! He is just weird about it. At the first of the summer he had a mohalk. It was sooo cool and everywhere we went people told him how cool he looked! I thought he would love it too BUT he didnt he hated it, everytime we went to fix it he would whine " NOOOOO dont put it in a mohalk." We did this for 3 months untill finally I let him win and I said "ok then we are just going to shave it off!" I wasnt mean, i wasnt angry, but that seemed worst. "no dont cut my hair MOM" he cried. Ok fine, I say " Kase if we leave like this we have to put it in a mohalk and you cant whine..." and the promise was made that he would cry about it. Well for the next 3 days all I hear is..."NOOOOO dont put it in a mohalk, I dont like mohalks, etc." So I shaved it off, HERES THE KICKER...just as I am finishing up, I take a last run threw with the clippers to catch all the lose ends and the GUARD FALLS OFF! yep and i buzz down the skin !!!!! So I swore, beacue that is waht any reasonable mother would do in front of their child and i put the clippers down. We left it like that for a couple days untill i finally brought myself to shave it all off! So now he is my little cancer patent, with his sweet little bald head and we are just waiting for it to grow back!

Wonder where I went? I had a project to do!

This last week instead of unpacking I bought an Amore' for our TV and an Amore' for my computer. BUT I bought them unfinished so I spent this painting, staining , sanding and polyurithaning. This is the end product!! I am so pleased!

Last pics from our house

There is our house, old ugly mexican titled roof, ugly brown trim and garage door.

All of us saying good bye to the house, last pictures in front of it.



Boxes and Boxes

The Move is Over!

With much drama it is finally done! We ended up needing to be out 3 days earlier then planned so over the weekend we found a place to live and moved all of our stuff. By Monday it was all out and by Tuesday it was cleaned. I am so thankful to my RS presidency they were the ONLY ones that showed up to help me clean. Not even my VTers came, which didnt surprize me because I have not had them visit me the whole time I have been in the ward! Anyway it was all cleaned and on Weds. I turned over the keys. It was a very sad thing for me, saying good bye to the house we brought Macie home to, our first house we bought. There are so many memories there. BUT as I was soaking in the last looks of our house and wiping away the tears Justin reminded me that there were alot of bad memories there too. Lots of fights and talks of divorce. Many sleepless nights wondering why things were so wrong. Lots of hardship in our marriage that we both do not wish to re-live. So as we drove away from our house for the last time we both had a sense of re-newal and hope. Hope for better times, less fights and more love in our lives.

To tip or not to tip

This has been bugging me and I really dont have any idea what is correct. When you go and get your hair cut or dyed ir whatever are you suppose to tip the person doing it? I know you do if it is a beauty college but I dont know if about regular places! Can anyone help?

A Stress in my life is over

Woohoo! FHE packets are done with, the last of them are sent out and put away. I have to say I am sooo glad to be done. I am just so disapointed in some of the girls in my group. I dont really want to get into the details of it all but it is good to be done and to have all of these packets that my kids love to use! Everynight the want to do FHE, it has been so much fun! I just want to say thanks to Heather, Summer and Jennie for their amazing packets every month. U guys were the reason that i did this for as long as we did. Thank U Thank U!!!

Soccer Games

Ohh we have so much going on right now with the move, I have been going threw blog withdrawls!!! Right now I am just going to post some picts of soccer. Kase is having more fun this year, going out and playing more. He just is not that aggressive, yes I know that should be a good thing but I wonder if he wont like sports. maybe he'll be a choir & band boy! Justin dosent like that idea but oh well hun? I guess time will tell.