It is surprizing to me...

when you have made a horrible choice who stands by you and who walks away. I think I will always be surprised by the support I have had these last couple days. I have made a lot of bad choices. I am so grateful for the support I have received, grateful for the prayers, thoughts, advice and love that everyone has shown me. I guess throughout my life I have learned the hard way, always have and maybe always will. There is so much going on in my life, so many struggles that I have to overcome. I am so glad that I have such an amazing support system to fall back on, I am grateful that I have friends who understand me enough that they will support me through anything. I really don't feel like I deserve the love I have felt this last little while and I am truly grateful!

I'm putting a privacy blocker on my blog

please email me so I can add you to the list of approved people!

kellielarsen@yahoo.com

thanks!

WOW! I have gotten 40 emails in 3 days from all of you guys who read my blog! Crazy!

I am going to keep this up for a couple weeks for everyone to see it. Thanks for stopping by!

Since when does he not need me?

He just decieded that he that he wanted to ride his bike without training wheels so Justin took them off. I figured that I would sit out there with him, run along the side of him and encourage him, catch him when he tipped over....that is so not how it happened. He got on it and took off and that was it! No help from me he just did it! What a punk!

Another one bites the dust

and another ones gone, another ones gone, another one bites the dust!

Kase has lost his 2nd tooth! This time wasnt as exciting as the last time, he even fell asleep not holding his tooth fairy box. Now he has two missing teeth on the bottom and he is so cute! I can't wait for the top ones to start coming out cause pictures of that will be priceless! I totally wonder if he will get my big front teeth, I sure hope not!

Some days I feel like I have nothing to post

but today I have sooo much to type about! It is funny how much I want to write! I had an interesting weekend...

I had a shoot Saturday night, the couple didn't show up and i forgot my client book so I had no way of contacting them so I went to drive home. I was sitting at the light and some kid ran into the back of me. Yep my cars not even 2 months old and I get hit. Luckily it was just a tiny little car and I was the big one cause his entire hood was pushed up against his windshield. So we pull over and the first thing he says to me is how sorry he is and please don't call the cops because his licence is suspended. Thinking that was the nice thing to do I agree and I try to get his insurance information. He insist that he write it all down and every time I try to look at the card he turns it away from me. I finally grab it and double check it and what do you know he totally messed up the numbers...and yes it was on purpose. He starts to get antsy so I ask him for his phone number name and I write down his licence plate number. After he left I started to feel like I got screwed over so I started calling the numbers he gave me and none of them are right. So I call the cops...they catch him on his way to Hurricane (which is like 15 mins away) and they bring him back to where I am. He gets on the phone to his mom and he just starts bawling. She says she is going to sell his motorcycle, he says that his girlfriend doesn't want to marry him anymore. He is seriously upset and I feel totally bad for him. It seems like he is having a bad time in his life. I kinda wish I hadn't called the cops on him but I thought that would at least get me the right insurance information...well turns out he did have any insurance at all!

So lesson learned when you are nice to people you get screwed over...I'm so kidding!

I am happy with who I am....

It seems like all of my life I have been searching for acceptance from other people. I have always need approval from everyone that I meet. It drives me crazy when people don't like me and I tend to over compinsate to win over the person that doesn't like me. I have done alot to change and mold into this person that I think everyone else wants me to be. You think that I'd grow out of it but it is something that I have been working on all my life. What is cool is that I am now finding people who like the weird corky things about me. People who actually embrace the side of me I have kept hidden for so long. It is weird how that happens, weird how I can find people who like the actually me. It is becoming easier to let my walls down, easier to love me, and to let people in. That is a really cool feeling.

My Crazy Sister

Check out her apartment....it is above her head....it is downtown slc right by the gateway. it totally fits her ! I am sooo glad that things are looking good for her...she is such a nut!

Poor, poor Zoi!

She is not feeling very good, she is sooo weak I am really scared she is going to die! It is the sadest thing watching her just sleep and sit there. She barely has enough energy to breath...poor thing I hope she doesnt die :(!

UPDATE: she died last night, it was so sad. poor little thing i guess the guy at the pet store was right i couldnt handle a camelion.

Guess who came to our house...

The tooth fairy!!! Kase has been sooo excited, he has 5 loose teeth and one finally fell out Saturday Night ...get this we were out on a date when it fell out...and it was 10:00 when I picked the kids up so the tooth fairy had to wait and come Sunday. (I told kase she was in bed so that I could take a pictures of his cute little tooth! Man this makes me feel old! I hate this milestones, I remember when I was sooo excited to see Kase roll or walk and now with each one I realize I cant have time back with them. I want to keep them little, I want to sing lullabies to them forever, kiss them till the run away...If only!

24 hours later I am on my way

Gezzzz I am in desperate need of a vacation...I am heading up north for a couple days to go to the scrapbooking expo with some girlfriends...I cant wait to be off and to have some time alone! I was suppose to leave yesterday afternoon but work is so backed up I couldnt get out of here...awwww 3 days away from all the stuff will be soo nice! Have a great weekend everyone!

I have to most embarrassing moment-this tops them all!

I debated as to whether or not I would post this but it tops my list of humiliating things that happen to me or that I do to myself!

Justin and I's anniversary is next week and for a year and a half I have wanted to take some sexy pictures for him but after having kids my body is nothing like sexy. I have avoided it over and over until finally I decided that if i didn't get them done that I would prolly never do them so I woke up weds morning and thought today will be a great day for pictures. I got all ready...now I am not a real prissy girl, I like make up but I don't wear it everyday. BUT for pictures I go totally go all out. Fake eyelashes, hair extensions, tons of ratting of the hair...it is a big process.

So I get all ready, set up my backdrop and my tripod and I get naked. Ok I have to say here that I do think my body is totally sexy, i don't my girly parts are sexy and i don't think showing them is sexy....besides you can take a totally sexy pictures without the showing anything...kwim? SO that was the kind of pictures that I was going for...NOTHING CRUDE or VULGAR...that's just not sexy!

So I am taking picture which with a tripod is totally an ordeal, I am sweating I am naked and then Macie comes in my room. Being naked in our house has never been a big deal but she quickly wants to know why i am taking pictures and she begins to give me posing advice. " i like it when you do this, mom you need to cover your boobies, i think you should smile." Then she in forms me that she sees my "pee pee." Ok Macie get out of my room.

Just then there is a knock on my door...crap it is my cleaning lady...I am completely naked except for my 5 inch hooker shoes, which btw i cant hardly walk in. I yell down the hall that I will be right out...I go get dressed and as I am walking out of my bedroom I hear Macie say "hey, hey Steph, my Mom was taking pictures of her PEE PEE!" right then I walk around the corner with the hair extensions and fake eyelashes. OH MY GOSH! I was totally humiliated, she gave me the weirdest look and I tried to explain what I was doing but how to recover from that? Seriously does stuff like this only happen to me?

Some of my recent favs...

1-OK I am loving my new external hard drive....so worth my money to finally get one, you wouldn't believe how many pictures I had on my computer!

2-My Dark hair....yep I am no longer a blond. I guess I will have to post some pictures...It actually was waaaay darker then I expected but it was a great mistake. Justin of course hates it and the first thing he said to me was "you look like your mother." I think my mommy is hot so I could take that as a complement even though it wasn't. I love it...it looks good on me I think!

3-My Justin Timberlake CD... ok song #5 i love! I rarely buy CDS but for Justin I will make the exception! I kinda have a school girl crush on him :)

4-I am still loving my new car and yes one of these days I will post pictures of it.

5-Nighttime with my Kaser Boy. He has been asking for lullabies lately, so at night time I lay in bed with him and sing to him. We then sit and talk and he asks me to tell him stories about when I was little. I hope he remembers these little moments and cherishes them just as much as I do.

Luck = Hard Work = US

Got a call from Justin today he wanted to go to a movie with the family..."u have been working too hard we need to go and do something together. What a great feeling to have him care about us, it is hard for him to express his feelings, he rarely tells me personal things but to know he cares about me makes me happy! What I also love is that no matter what movie we go see Justin knows when I am going to cry. He waits for it and then watches me as tears stream down my face. It is nice to have someone know me and understand me. Someone who loves me.

Dont be destracted by my enormous head...

I feel like it is just huge! I went to a church thing last night...mostly because they asked me to come and share my "talents" So I brought a couple pictures of my sweet family, some of my favorites from clients and set them out on a small table. I had people coming up to me all night, telling me how good they were...I do but I don't like compliments it is kind of a weird thing. I like to get them, I actually crave them but I don't know how to respond. So by the end of the night i was on cloud nine! I was totally happy and felt great about myself! I guess it is always good to have a little bit of compliments every once in a while!

MIA

• Brown
• Secret Embrace
• Victoria's Secret
• Size 34 C
• Very cute
• Brand new
• Missing for 2 weeks

If anyone has seen my bra please contact me. Thanks.

UPDATE: I found it! wooo hoooo! I almost went online and bought another one!

How Rude

I was rudely awakened this morning at 2:00 AM to some inappropriate touchy touchy from Justin. Why he was awake and ready to go at 2 am I don't know, AND why he didn't make his move while I was awake and laying next to him is sexy underwear I don't know either. But 2:00 AM seemed more convenient for him. Lets just say our marriage has never lacked in the intimacy department, it is one thing that has always been good...but why why why at 2:00 AM?

New header... New links & New Pictures!

Yep is almost 1:00 am I am still up...I am waiting for some pictures to post to my site so I can post some more....i am soooo tired of editing so I played around with some pictures that we took around Christmas....I just start giggling OK snorting when I look at them! bwhahahahahah!

I also added more blog to my stalker list BUT I know that I didn't get them all,, I seriously look at over 50 blogs a day so my list is really small compared to what I really stalk...don't be offended if your not up there....tell me and I will add you to my stalker list. :) later skater!

ohohoh...by the way my spell check is working agian..thanks Ang! maybe now I wont have to go back and edit my post 3 times :)

Pursuit of Perfection

Perfection is something I have strived for all of my life. I think that being the first kid in a fairly large family had a lot to do with it. I was expected to be a lot of things.... perfect was defiantly one of them. I have carried around those expectations all of my life and of course OTHER PEOPLE have added to my list of expectations. I continued allowing other people tell me what was perfect. The perfect weight, the perfect height, the perfect attitude, the perfect friend, the perfect girlfriend, the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect artist, the perfect person, etc. Until I started yo break down, I started to understand that really there is no such PERFECT. I could work my tail off and still never achieve that kind of perfection. I would never ever reach the level I had set for myself. I am perfect for me, I do the best I can and that is it. I am perfect.

Our new pet....

Yep we finally bought the lizard we have been eyebawling for months! She is just a baby and she is very sensitive, I hope she lives. We have spent hours watching her climb, move her eyes in opposite directions, and eat crickets. She is sooo much fun even Justin comes in to check on her! She is seriously the coolest pet, she is very corky and odd and it is so fun to watch her!

Spotlight On Kaser

Kase had a great week last week being the "sunshine enginer" in school. He got to be the line leader and the king of the day every day for a week. All the kids in his class drew a picture of him and didn't have to do anything! He thought it was all pretty darn cool! Of course I had to do a poster...after I was done I showed Justin and he said..."because you don't do simple." I guess that is about right. I wanted it to be cute and it had to have order...exspecially with the butt load of pictures I had to put on there :)