I wonder why some people struggle to have children and why others don't. It seems that most of the people I know that have a hard time having babies are the best moms, and that some of the ones that have them easily are not. I feel like this more when I look at myself. I have two dear friends who have struggled for sometime to get pregnant, I have watched them with their kid(s) that they do have and I think..."It is not fair, why do they have to struggle, they are excellence parents." You can see that they deserve to have more kids. "and why do I have mine, they are much better moms then me." I don't deserve the kids I have.
So why? Why was I blessed and they are not? I am not saying that I abuse my children or anything. I just could be better, better then I am and I feel guilty that at times I take my sweet children for granted. I guess right it is hard for me to see "the plan" in everything. I am feeling a mix of emotion for some friends and guilty that I don't do better.
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